Confidence, Undies and your Fragrance

Confidence comes from inside. The way you  look is tied to the way you feel. If you feel good about yourself, there's always that tendency to walk straighter which makes you seem taller to the onlooker. Up close you emanate this confident body language. For some people, confidence, carriage are intrinsic. They've probably inherited good genes that have helped them along and they've not had to make too much effort to attain it. However, as in any desirable thing in life, for most people it doesn't just fall into your laps, you have to make conscious effort to attain it. The good thing there is: IT IS ATTAINABLE. So, how does one go about this? first thing first. Self Awareness; knowing who you are, what you look like, your skin tone, eye colour, gait, etc. Being self aware is not just limited to these, but it's a starting point. When you are in tune with your self, you will know what you like about you and what you don't like about you(Knowledge is KEY) and from this knowledge you can work to make a dream you...What you wear does not you make but it's extremely important to how you feel and it starts from inside. The right underwear is a good starting point to the total packaging of you.It has to provide both lift in the right area and comfort as well. Not too tight and not too free(support or lift concept will be lost then). Let's begin with the bras: The breast is a beautiful attractive body part that draws attention and should be properly packaged.  If you're full bodied, curvy and richly endowed,you are blessed. You have to take bras seriously. It's always so offensive to see ladies who are poorly packed because they are wearing undersized bras that end up dividing the breasts into unflattering proportions or those who did not take the key word SUPPORT to market and they end up with bras that leave the breasts swinging, dropping in very ugly fashion. It's important to know your actual size. Take time out and get proper measurement, don't assume, body shapes are different. when you know your true size, be dogmatic about bra shopping. Don't buy bras just because they come in your favorite colour or design, except they come in your size. Try different ones on and feel them out for support and comfort. Thankfully these days they also come in exotic designs and wide range of colours to cater to your sexiness desire. one thing you must have in mind is: the sizes of bra that suit you may actually vary, this is because they are made by different companies who have their different numbering systems, that's why it's important to know your actual size and with it you can know your market size range in bras...

The other woman.

I attended a burial ceremony this weekend, during the wake,something odd stood out. I noticed that the widow whom we knew sat next to the deceased's brother and another lady  who looked so holy and dignified : no earrings or any any form of jewelry in sight(very religious i presumed)sat by him, people kept coming to condole with the man( or so i thought and )not with the wife; this seemed very odd to me and quite frankly i thought the deceased's family members were beasts. The initial reason i could grasp then for this gross insensitivity was the fact that the wife was a foreigner and they probably did not know how to relate with her, but, she'd been married to their brother for more than half a century, surely they would have had ample time to get over any misgivings or erroneous misconceptions they had about her ...but obviously, they had not. So, the widow was left alone with her sadness and loss, another thing that caught my attention was that the man's children did not sit with the wife which of course suggested they may not be hers biologically, or even if they were, something was terribly wrong, so wrong that they could not afford to comfort each other in such  a trying time as this one,they sat on opposite sides and when one of the children was asked to speak, she did so eloquently extolling the virtues of this colossus of a man(it seems to me all dead people are perfect saints) who had fathered her but then when she referred to the mother, she looked the other way not at the wife.. my curiosity was piqued to the heights. I had to get some answers and despite the unapproving shoos from my neighbor , I reached forward to someone I thought might be in the know but I met with incomplete knowledge, so I reached to Google( the Solomon of our time according to Bankole Williams) and between Google and my friend in the front seat, I was able to piece together the story. I discovered that the wife had two children: a balanced pair( man and woman), the very dignified non jewelry wearing presumptuously religious old lady was actually the "The Other Woman"who had had children for the man outside, while the foreigner was the official wife. It got me thinking and wondering about so many things: for one, wouldn't this "Other Woman"(Lady T) have wanted to be someone's official wife? I mean; have her own husband?, what did she do in her youth?, what did she tell her children when they grew up and asked about the visiting dad? when she prays to God if she does, what does she say to Him? how does one become a 'Lady T'? there seems to be many around. Is it planned? Is it a life choice? it could be a life choice. I remember the elder sister of one of my childhood friends saying when we were younger and she lost her boyfriend to her best friend that she never wanted to be any man's first wife but the second because that way she knows that he is cheating on some one else with her and not cheating on her with some one else. At that time, i thought she was insane and just spewing rubbish out of pain but i have grown and interacted with other ladies and have come to realize that it is a given knowledge among women that men regardless of their level in life cheat, and would always do so and as such should not be trusted. However, men do not cheat by themselves, they cheat with other women( i do recognize that there are now men and men) but often times, it's always with another woman who refuses to acknowledge the pain of the wife, another woman who knows so much about the wife but who is content to remain faceless and some times releases hell to destroy the other woman in order to take her place. And I'm back to questions: is it because the ratio of men to women is not equal ?not enough men to go round? or is it just that some women like what belongs to others and prefer to be second and third best?  does a woman just decide she wants to spend her life in obscurity, tucked away sometimes in remote areas rearing children by herself while the man only visits once in a while and is not there for the day to day grit ? will I ever get the answers to these questions? most importantly,  do I want to know these answers?