PEGS AND HOLES

When I was in secondary school, My dad took the family on a visit to his boss who lived on Snake Island Apapa. Then I thought the Island was the coolest place I'd ever seen. Having to cross water to get to this cozy little paradise reminded me of some of the fairytales the novels I loved so much filled my head with. Looking through my fantasy coloured eyes, everything about the Island was perfect including my dad's boss. Well, until he spoke. My dad told him that I loved to sing and the man exclaimed "Don't sing o!, you see all those singers, they are very poor. They borrow even the clothes they wear to sing" He then went on to tell me about how poor a particular popular musician at that time was. He painted very vivid gory pictures of their miserable life. I loved singing but I didn't want to borrow clothes for my daily life. I never pursued music. I wish that that my dad's boss was alive today to see Tuface: he's a singer and I don't think he's miserable or begs for clothes to wear. I remember a testimony that was given in church by a chief who had children enough to make a football team plus substitutes all from one wife. The chief thanked God that his children had gotten admission into school to read the courses he the chief wanted. Is it wrong for parents to guide children? No! However, many parents and adults tend to push children in directions which are not their true calling. Not to hurt them, no! But for security. Job security. Food on the table, clothes on their backs, good houses to live in... The quest for these sometimes puts round pegs in square holes. That's how you have politicians who do not even know the meaning of service, nurses who are so mean because they hate their jobs, lawyers who hate the inside of a courtroom, doctors who hate to see patients, customer service officers who find it difficult to smile and snap at their customers, policemen who have no humanity, who would ask the parents of a four year child that was raped to bring money first before they can begin investigations. You ask yourself what is their duty then? Maybe the pegs should just have been put in their right holes.

BODY SHAMING

I have a gorgeous cousin who is a beautiful size 12. Curvy, toned and smart. Did I mention she is the best dancer of us all? She's that flexible with the sweetest disposition ever. I tell her how cute she is all the time. Like every young person; she is still figuring out her style. Now being stylish most times doesn't necessarily mean being trendy because not all trends suit all body types. You have to adapt style to your taste and personality. That knowledge however does not come to everyone at the same time. It takes years for some. That being said; every body can be stylish and fashionably trendy regardless of their size. It's offensive then to hear the way some folks talk to some big bodied ladies as if their size is a disease. I remember once when someone said to my very beautiful friend "this your baka too much for church o". My friend in her characteristic no holds barred answered "I for cut some keep for house? No be God give me?" Recently a relative was chastizing my big cousin harshly for wearing a turtle neck top with a Jean bodycon skirt. Her words and the tone of her voice somehow made it seem that my cousin's body was a sin. I have seen this too often to be comfortable with it. Yes! People should work out and be healthy which is the important thing, not being thin. By the way there are very thin people who are not healthy. Some is just genetic. It is time to stop body shaming and appreciate people for whom they are. Anyone that has ever tried to lose weight will tell you it's not as easy as you see in adverts on Television. It's a lot of sacrifice, tears and sweat. Body shaming can cause young people who are still very impressionable to harm themselves. Depression,bulimia nervosa and suicide are not uncommon

I GAVE BIRTH TO MY AUNT

It's rare to find a housewife or husband these days. The economic state has gotten to the point where it has become almost absolutely necessary for both parents to work. This leaves the children in the care of others(Family, relatives, neighbours,maids...) . "Man know thyself" that was Socrates or Thales or Cilion. But as a lecturer of mine once said, literally taken, you can only speak for yourself. Most times we take things for granted and make assumptions that are lethal. Just because that neighbour smiles and appears to like children doesn't mean he is the best person to take care of your children. Also a lot of folks have eagle eyes on their jobs but blind spots where their children are concerned and a lot of damage may be going on under your very own nose... I was commissioned recently to write a play for children encompassing morals that they need. In the cause of my research I found out that the youngest grandmother in the world is a Nigerian Mumzi who gave birth at the age of eight years, four months. Her daughter Zi subsequently gave birth at eight years eight months. This made Mumzi at 17 years, a grandmother. In Akwa Ibom state that phenomenon is called the thing of the father's house. When I read about Mumzi's case I decided to go further... I learnt about Lina Medina the Peruvian girl who gave birth at 5 years, 7 months and 17 days in 1933 thus becoming the youngest mother in the world, Hida Trujillo also a Peruvian gave birth at 8 years 7 months, 5 year old Liza Gryschchenko also towed that line and so many others. One thing that caught me was the fact that the men who molested these girls were either relatives as in the case of Liza who was raped by her 69 year old grandfather to Hilda's 22 year old cousin who molested her; these monsters who carried out these dastardly acts were actually trusted and known by the family of the victims. A wise man I know always says "The onus is on the owner to take care of what belongs to her"