Murdered before Life

On my way back from work today I met a sad story. A group of students gathered most times means there's probably an ongoing fight with someone looking to be crowned the street champion.However today's crowd was different;adults were present and everyone seemed to be whispering a very oddity for students who exist for noise. As I got up close I asked a student what the problem was and he said "na baby", so I looked down the canal and there it was a baby laying in the canal mud. oh my God I could literally hear my heart break. I would have loved to update you with pictures but truthfully i couldn't see past the immediate tears that welled neither did I have the willpower to stand there another second. I had been in too much of a hurry in the morning to notice and now I was just angry at these people gathered and mopping at the baby , angry at the mother that had snuffed life out of the baby, I kept wondering what she'd done, how she'd felt, did she kill the baby first before dropping it or did she drop it alive and let it be tortured by the cold to death? what could have driven a woman to go through nine long months of pregnancy, hours of torturous labour pains only to throw the baby away?what? Every time I hear women talk about childbirth and all it entails I'm always fascinated and scared at the same time. what happened to that joy you're supposed to feel immediately the labour pains subside? I know couples who have had bad marriages, separation, broken homes all as a result of no children in the marriage. Yet here was one thrown away.Many questions came to mind: Like why not give up the child for adoption? why even become pregnant in the first place when you know you're not ready? if you're big enough to have sex why not use a contraceptive? or is it someone that was raped and had no choice but to get pregnant? is it a mad person's doing? a young scared girl? a ritual?  my dad used to say that "the onus is on the owner to take care of what belongs to her"so it's not possible that this mother did not explore options in her mind during these nine months of expectancy, what if this is going to be the only child that she would ever have?  Is it possible this was the solution she could come up with? whose fault is it?I don't understand so many things in life. Days like these drain me.

The girl, contraceptives and the uncle 2

I was home at the weekend when one of my protegees Sophie showed up with a new friend of hers Ebiere(not real names... you know why)looking very depressed. I offered food-she lives with an aunty- in the course of the lunch the story poured out. I'll try to summarise. Sophie stays with an aunty who has conveniently forgotten what it is like to be a teenager, does not communicate with her but feels better reporting Sophie to all who care to listen including me about Sophie's waywardness and stubbornness. Meanwhile, Sophie is going through lots of changes hormonally, physically...She is in Junior Secondary class 3 with a body of a vixen and as a result, many 'uncles' have become very nice and kind to her especially in the neighbourhood where they live. Sophie has already had sex with her neighbour uncle because he is very nice and helps with school work especially when she repeated a class. she doesn't really consider it a big deal since she's been doing it with him since junior secondary 1. The Thursday before in school, another friend of hers where she goes to make her hair had invited her over to go see her 'uncle' friend, when she got there, while waiting for the friend, the uncle raped her and later informed her that that was her friend's business(she supplies girls from school to 'uncles'), now Sophie is worried about being pregnant because he was rough. And of course the big question came "what should I do?" As they both looked at me like I had answers to the world's problems I had to use the excuse of eating to think. So many thoughts were racing through my mind...the fact that she wasn't concerned about a venereal disease, HIV/AIDS.. but just pregnancy,  the 'uncles' she was sleeping with steadily and gently did they use condoms? Sophie just turned sixteen meaning she's been sexually active since fourteen. Telling her she was too young to have sex because it's wrong and because she cannot handle the consequences will be crying over spilt milk, also won't telling her about contraceptives be encouraging her?..I ate for a long time...

The girl, Contraceptives and the Uncle 1

I became a counselor not willingly but by serendipity. I just discovered that younger girls seemed to gravitate towards me, I have lots of younger cousins who in turn have lots of friends.... At first I resisted it but then I thought why not? If I could do some good with it, why not?
As a senior friend to my younger friends I get to hear lots of stories and get to offer advices. I found that my younger friends would rather tell me about their escapades than their parents. Most of the stories seemed to rotate around "Uncles". Now, in secondary school we were taught in social studies about family nuclear and extended with the nuclear family consisting of  parents and children while the extended has the parents and children with their close relatives sometimes living in close proximity. The operative word here is 'close relative'. However, in recent times the words 'uncles' and 'aunties' have been used loosely to include even none relatives not to talk of close ones. These days, anyone can be an 'uncle'; teacher, neighbour, brother's friend, father's friend,driver, gate-man you name it., the concept of a stranger seems to be lost .Barriers that should somewhat be a protection for a young girl is removed with that single word and with it gone, a lot of harm has been perpetrated by these 'uncles' and 'aunties'

Kakadu The Musical and Me

My debut on the Nigerian stage was at the Agip Recital hall, Muson Centre in a musical play entitled Kakadu The Musical a presentation of the Playhouse Theatre Limited, Produced by the duo of Winifred and Uche Nwokedi(SAN) and directed by the life journal himself Kanayo Omo who was assisted by Williams Ekpo who doubled also as the stage manager. Saying that it was one of the most beautiful experiences which I thoroughly enjoyed is an understatement of course. I got the privileged honour to work firsthand with some of the industry's best; musical director and Lord Lugard Benneth Ogbeiwi(Uncle Ben) had just the right spicy words to get the best music out of you, the camera shy Choreographer Abel Utuedor assisted by Olufowobi Femi  was a shock to me at first,I still remember 'splash out 'and believe me those dancers set the stage on fire -Sometimes I left my acting to just watch the dancers do their thing-And there were the greats: Nobert Young(very cultured), Tina Mba, Hajji_Bello, Bongolipso who serenaded me on the casting day while I did my best to put up my most convincing 'not impressed look' little did I know that we'll end up as dance partners. Then there were the younger ones the waffy JJC Onyeka Fiaka who came to enact his story as a JJC Osahon in the play: an eerie coincidence if there ever was one. Emmanuel Luka Musa who dropped the word 'ore' in our mouths, I still use it.
The assignments heaped on us by the director who later found out that we referred to him as 'profile' and  'focus' but was nonetheless unfazed led me to research and discoveries that astounded me and begged for more questions.
The play showed Nigeria before and after the war,  the effects of the war on relationships across the different tribes, when friends became "those people", "not our type"...Kakadu represented a microcosm of our society and today Forty three years after as I sat in the Keke going back home, an incident on the road brought a line from the the epilogue of Kakadu to my mind "How do we build a nation, build a future?" In the midst of our current situation?

My Magic Wand

While surreptitiously following a bbm group chat of some friends, this question just announced itself in my heart "IF you could change the world, how would you go about it?". The first thing that came to my mind was a magic wand(too much cartoon influence I guess -and I have had my fair share - Voltron,Superman, wonder woman,Cinderella, Aladdin,Tom and Jerry, Ben 10, Mickey mouse...). What would I do with the wand? well, I'll wave it as I have often seen it being done in my favorite Cartoons to make everything alright. In Cinderella; the fairy godmother with a wave of her wand gave Cinderella everything : a throne without enemies, wealth plus Prince charming all in one package.I'll start with my generation: a damaged,abandoned, drowned careless generation struggling to break the surface of the water and to breathe. Those who have been lucky enough to break the surface are seemingly thriving but so few of them, then there are those grabbing at anything and everything in site, ruthlessly taking down any form of resistance in their path and not counting the cost at all.
However, the major problem as I see it is the 99% who are not even aware of where they are or what is going on ; Sad really because we are looked on as the "lucky" generation with so much information at our fingertips. But if you do not know what to do with the information, what use is it to you having it? none! none at all, on the contrary the information has been the 'undoing factor' putting a knife in a child's reach and saying "knives can cut.." plus the erroneous assumption of my generation that the elders will gladly move over and let us take control because we are the future leaders- I don't even want to go there- but if a statement credited recently to former president Olusegun Obasanjo in which he said the youths have failed or if at eighty nine Robert Mugabe still considers himself fit to lead and has purportedly won a seventh term...need I say more?
Then I'll move to the younger generations and change their DNA(Deoxyribonucleic acid) completely in case these disease is in the genes so we don't end up breeding the same destructive entities, and as for the older generations? for a long time I've thought that the Charles Taylor's modus operandi is the best method to employ after forgiving them of course- I mean we're not beasts- but then seeing the aftermath of Spartacus' season one last episode I have my doubts,  so, I think we'll probably put the older generations in a cube and leave them in space to wander for a while until we decide what to do with them....

At the Nwokemodo's I dos

If you're planning a wedding, and you have a large family and your intended also comes from family that's a village on its own , a lot of time and arrangements are needed. For instance, you might want to consider not inviting outsiders at all if you want a normal sized wedding as both your family members will merge into a little community of witnesses. But then in Nigeria what fun would that be?So, you already have one community down pat and then friends will come with their families and other friends who will bring their own friends and families as well....and of course 'mogbomoya'. By the time everyone has gathered, you might have a little challenge on your hands but luckily for you, you'll be at the high table and pass your time grinding your teeth, or biting your lips whatever means you can employ to let out frustration at some of the things you'll be seeing. But I love our weddings and so it was a beautiful day as my Nigerian half cast sister Oluchi Eno and her hunky gorgeous beau  Ejikeme Nwokemodo exchanged vows and 24TH August,2013 became permanently engraved in gold for them.

Big brother africa and The Dillish surprise.

The five big brother the chase finalists left the house that has been their home for ninety one days today in the following order: Beverly and Melvin from Nigeria,Elikem from Ghana, Cleo(Zambia) and Namibia's Dillish. That means that Dillish(the barbie doll) won the $300,000. Ok, for a starter, I haven't been a Dillish fan majorly because I'm not a huge fan of barbie dolls,never been ,probably a childhood issh maybe..., and because I thought she was extremely fake, can anyone be that perfect? as it turns out yes is the answer because Dillish kept up her act from day one till the end.
Something arrested me though the first time I listened to her diary room session; she told big brother that she wasn't going to be confrontational with anyone, she was going to let the big ones fight and ignore her and after ninety one days she was going to quietly take home her money. I thought she was too cocky and conceited as well, but then then there was a lot of wisdom in what she said as it turns out that the big and terrible ones fell before her.
Another amazing and striking thing about this surprise win is the fact that Dillish had never been a Head of house, never won the power of 'no!' , no bad girl shenanigan gigs and she was never confrontational and true to her words, she quietly with cute fine girl's tears took her money home. Food for deep thoughts.